I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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