You're so nebulous sometimes
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
