had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
