i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
