I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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