i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
