He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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