the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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