Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
