we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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