I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
