Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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