I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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