One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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