We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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