I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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