you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
