Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
