In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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