Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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