that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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