We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
