do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
