My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i out mim tonsoeep
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
