I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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