I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
