just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
