Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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