all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
