I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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