I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He felt like a one man threesome
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Randomize
