I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
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