Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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