I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
