How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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