I cockslap morals
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
