Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
