Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
