He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
