I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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