How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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