so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
