Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
