Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
