he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Operation Purity has been aborted
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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