how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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