You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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