There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
