Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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