It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
