I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
time to smoke my breakfast
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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