are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
