Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
